'How to change your life in 7 steps'
Everybody reaches a point in their life when they want more. Most people have no idea how to go about it, and like myself they sit around trying to figure out which way is up.
Recently I decided to pay a visit to my local library - when I came across a book that set everything into place for me almost immediately.
“How to change your life in 7 steps by John Bird”
John Bird and Gordon Roddick founded the big issue in 1991 as a chance to help all of the rough sleepers make the most out of their life. John bird has inspired me to look at life in such an amazing light just by reading how hard those other people have it.
This book is about how you view your own life compared to those around you.
From the minute I picked this book up I knew I had to talk about it.
The book is split off into 7 chapters.
- Start with 3%
- Stop thinking like a victim
- Be true to yourself and others
- Stop knocking everyone else
- Think for yourself
- The importance of making mistakes
- Be your own leader
Something that stood out to me immediately was the fact that most people nowadays blame the rest of the world when they don’t reach for a goal they wanted.
This knocked me a bit when it first sunk in. I realised the amount of times I’ve done that exact thing is unbelievable. When something goes wrong in your life the easiest thing to do is blame somebody else. No matter what the situation – A job promotion you didn’t work hard enough for becomes the boss’ fault. Or the jeans you can’t fit into become the shops fault. Even the smallest things can be picked up on as a chance to push the blame onto somebody else. I’ve lost a lot of personal items in the past, not close to heart items but things that were essential for my everyday life such as my keys or my phone or even my makeup bag. Obviously it was my own fault for being so careless but at the time it was the worlds fault, ‘How could we live in a world so cruel, how am I possibly so unlucky, Why didn’t anybody stop me?’
Just the little things that make you feel better. Sometimes it’s ok if it’s only small items or laughable situations but when times get tough and you know you’re the only one to blame – Blaming other people will give you an even bigger conscience at the end of it all.
This brings me to my second point;
Those people who always compete to make it seem as though they have it worse off in life. I hate it when people do that. Like I said before to an extent it can be ok, say you’re at the club with your friends and you just want a good old moan it can be easily brushed off. But then you get those types of people who you can never go to for comfort because the conversation is somehow always changed onto how their alarm clock didn’t go off so they were late for work and it was the worst day of their lives.
They are the type of people who are happy to see people close to them suffer as long as they are being noticed and cared for. This is why that type of person is never really trusted by friends or family.
I used to know a person like that. I had days where I loved her to pieces she was so funny and she made me smile, But other days I couldn’t bare to be in her company because she dragged me down with her, making me feel about two foot tall. Until eventually I had to walk away. I just didn’t have it in me to pretend anymore. Of course she’s also a great example for my first point. When I finally did decide enough was enough I spoke to my best friend and he convinced me that I was better than that I deserved someone I could trust and rely on. She eventually decided that it was entirely my fault I was a terrible person and I had changed completely. As much as I wanted to throw it in her face how unlike able she really was I just sat and took it, just being happy at the fact that she would soon be gone. Without the stress and weight of somebody else’s life piled on me I feel so much happier than I could have imagined.
The next thing I want to talk about is something that unfortunately I can really relate to. Always seeing yourself as a victim is going to make you one. Let’s be honest with ourselves now the world can mess you up very quickly. Everyone reading this probably just agreed with me. It’s just definite proof that you’re not the only one. So don’t pretend as though you are. I know a lot of people, yet I can honestly say I have never anybody with a perfect life. The world screws with everybody at least once. You just need to jump back into action and the kick the shit out of it. I’m not saying hide away your emotions, because a really important person in my life once told me that crying is not cowardly it makes you stronger for being able to talk about your problems. But still being able to sit back and laugh at the rest of the world talking about how hard life is knowing you’re not in the firing line anymore can make the weakest person feel like a god. I found so many quotes from this book that really hit home. One of my favourites is
“If you think you are the ugly best friend you will continue to be”
Taking this into consideration, I do still understand how hard it is to better yourself without any reason to feel you should. Becoming a stronger person is harder than it actually seems to people like me. Being a strong individual is not really in my contract. I sit and watch other people live the life I should live knowing I’m too shy to step up to the mark. However Bird makes it crystal clear in his book that you don’t have to be centre of attention to be successful you just have to be yourself. Forget public speaking and karaoke and being everybody’s best friend, if you set yourself one small goal each day you can get there slowly but surely. John uses brushing your teeth as an example as a step forward for at least one day. Moving towards a goal in small steps in better than staying put.
The last thing that jumped at me is how he talks about Lies and what they can do to you as a person. A little white lie can be ok, every now and again. But recreating and entire period of your life to impress somebody will sink you into a bigger depressive state than it’s worth. People lie everyday but compulsive liars only do it to create the life they wish they had to people who don’t know them. Telling somebody you have a job you don’t or saying you can speak Spanish when you can’t is like telling somebody you are ashamed of the life you lead so you’re changing it. Be proud of the life you have. Ok so it may not be perfect – but who’s really is?
We should be lucky to have the life we have and not take it for granted.
I can honestly say I have never been more inspired by one little book in my entire life. This man is a true genius he has completely changed my views on life in 84 short pages. He has shown me that being the best I can be is the only thing I need to be successful, happy and carefree. I would recommend this book to anybody who has ever been in my situation. Life is way to short make the most of what you have before it’s gone. Because in the end the one thing you’ll regret is not living your life the way you should of.
Rachel Murphy
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True Friends 
